Steps to Feel Less Alone Today

A friend I hadn’t seen in a while once asked me as we sat down to chat, “How is your soul?” Her tone wasn’t sarcastic, it was a genuine question, and I could tell she actually cared about my answer.

It’s questions like the one above that cut right through the fluff of the usual, “Hey how’s it going?!” and the generic response, “I’m great! How are you?!” It’s questions like the above that make you stop and actually feel how you’re doing.

So, I’ll ask you – How is your soul today?

If you’ve been feeling lonely recently, I want you to feel that right now. It’s okay. As long as your goal is to feel less lonely and feel more joyful then we’re on the same team. This may take time, but there are steps you can take today to create a change.

To move forward you must first embrace your ability to help yourself feel less lonely. You CAN take steps to live a happier and meaningful life, rich with deep connections to other people. It may hurt and this may not be what you want to hear right now but, the truth is the vast majority of people who feel alone, choose to feel alone. I say that specifically because I care about your growth and I know if you’re reading this you are looking for real, concrete steps you can take to feel less lonely. I’m here to provide some perspectives that may help but, you need to believe that you have the power to help yourself. That’s key. When you’re done reading you can book a free clarity call if you want to unpack solutions in detail for you personally.

Let’s talk about three pattern shifts to feel less lonely:

1- Don’t think you’re the only one, instead remember loneliness is a part of the human experience

I feel lonely sometimes, my wife does, and so does everyone else. Top executives feel lonely because they have few peers, new parents feel lonely because they don’t have friends with newborns, your mom feels lonely because you didn’t call her last Sunday. Now be a good kid and go call your mom!

Seriously though, loneliness by its nature makes you feel like you’re the only one going through the struggle. When you shift your thinking you’ll realize we’re all just people, humans trying to make our way in this world by building relationships and pursuing a meaning life the best way we know how. No one gets its perfect and everyone feels alone at some point.

Have some grace for yourself and embrace that you’re on a journey of figuring out life just like everyone else.

2- Don’t dwell on feeling sorry for yourself, instead begin to acknowledge the root issues

Linking your identity to your issue is so easy but so destructive. If you’ve let the defeated thought, “Well, I’m just lonely and that’s just who I am/how it’s going to be,” pass through your head, it’s time to make a change. It’s time to start blocking those thoughts in the moment while they’re happening. Telling yourself you are a lonely person, or that you’re defined by your loneliness will not help you overcome it.

Instead of dwelling on defeated thoughts, set some time aside for intentional reflection to discover the root issue. During this time ask yourself the scary questions, questions like…

• Why do I feel lonely? (often low self-esteem can be a cause)
• When did this feeling start?
• What is one thing I can do to feel less lonely this week?

Get real. Get to the root of the problem. Start developing a new perspective on your loneliness.

 3- Don’t lie in your bed all day, instead reach out to initiate connection

One of the best ways to feel less lonely is to put yourself out there and connect with someone else. Go to a group event, reach out to someone directly, just do something to create an opportunity to spend time getting to know someone else. Yes, it will take time and energy. Connecting with other people is a time consuming and risky process of seeking to know and becoming known. It can sometimes be painful as well. However, that is the cost of developing relationships. It’s worth it.

So, don’t wait for someone to reach out to you, instead reach out to someone! Help someone not feel lonely and in the process you may find your loneliness diminished as well.

Hopefully you’ve found a new perspective that will help you here. Remember to jump on a free call to talk more in depth about how you can move past loneliness in your particular situation. I believe in you and your ability to figure this out my friend! The evidence is you’re here reading this, so I know you’re already looking for solutions. Keep it up!

Until next time, get out there and create the impossible in your life!

Best, 

Joey