Do this when you feel behind

99% of people feel behind on something, their goals, dreams, or their life in general. The trick is understanding the way we process that feeling has an enormous effect on our happiness and our ability to reach the actual outcomes we feel behind on in the first place. So let’s talk about patience, and what we can do about this feeling of always being behind.

I believe the root issue of feeling behind on life is a lack of self-love. This is true because feeling we “should have accomplished _____ by now” stems from a lack of patience. Specifically, patience with ourselves. If we truly loved ourselves, we would have patience for ourselves. Often, we can be so good at having patience for other people, but at the same have none for ourselves. 

This lack of patience for ourselves causes us to be quietly unhappy as we strive towards our goals and reflect on our progress in life. It hurts to think about our progress because we don’t like how far we’ve come; we are constantly dissatisfied with it. In an effort to avoid feeling hurt, we avoid thinking about our goals, dreams, and progress in life. This in turn leads to less clarity about what we want, less progress overall, and ultimately, we just get stuck in a self-defeating cycle of not knowing exactly what we want and simultaneously feeling bad about our progress towards those unknown things. So, what can be done?

The answer is developing a healthy, energetic patience. Being patiently energetic is knowing what you want, not having it yet, and enjoying the process of working towards it.

It starts with being clear about what you want (achievements, things, experiences, etc.) A large contributing factor of always feeling behind is not being clear on what you feel behind on. Make a list and be real with yourself. Revisit it over the course of a few weeks to be sure it has your true desires on there.

Next step is to take an objective look at where you are now and to accept yourself. This takes courage because it probably won’t be exactly what you want to see. However, its crucial to first be very clear about where you are now. Only after accepting where you stand in relation to your goals, dreams and desires can you begin to cultivate healthy patience.

Lastly, it’s essential develop an inner peace with the daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly progress you’re making. However much or little progress you’re making on a regular basis, you won’t be happy with it until you stop putting so much emphasis on what you have NOT done or achieved so far. The real joy of our human experience comes when we are working passionately towards our goal and, at the same time, are content with the pleasure of the process. It looks like the ability to look back after a long day of work and to be proud of what we did, instead of beating ourselves up for what we didn’t. Ironically, a byproduct of cultivating joy in the process is we achieve more because studies show happy people get more done.

Like I said at the beginning of this post, most people feel behind on something. If that’s you I hope you have the tools now to begin developing an energetic patience in your life. That every day you can simultaneously be at peace with where you are now and full of joy as you pursue the goals that are incredibly important to you.

Until next time my friend, get out there and create the impossible in your life!

Joey