Generating clarity when you're confused

Summary

Have you ever felt confused? Not sure where to go next or who you want to be? It sucks, but the good news is you're not alone and there are simple steps we can take to generate more clarity in your life.

First you must understand that your lack of clarity right now is due to cognitive incongruence. Put simply - the person you are today and the person you want to be are different. Right now you're not living up to the mental image you have of the best version of yourself. This causes confusion in your brain because your actions do not line up with your intentions. The symptom of incongruence is pain. It's very common to try to self medicate this pain in all sorts of ways - distractions, substances, relationships. People will do anything to avoid the root problem: the incongruence between who they are today, and who they know they need to be.

So what to do about this? The only fix is to start taking concrete steps to line up our actions with our intentions. We get in motion!

First, make a list of things you would do just for the fun / excitement of it. What would you start doing just because you alone want to do it. What would "make your heart sing"?
Next, journal about how you truly want to contribute to others and to the world. What business, career or art would you pursue that would bring you the most fulfillment?

The final piece is to take baby steps towards becoming the person you just wrote about. Just begin. Simply start with consistently moving towards being that person who you know you need to be. Don't be hard on yourself, don't expect your whole life to change all at once. Just begin.

Over time as you continue to stay in motion everyday you'll notice the confusion start to fade as you get to work doing what makes you come alive. As you start contributing to others and helping people in a way that resonates with you deeply, you'll start to feel a deep sense of purpose. This process snowballs until one day you wake up and you have clarity about who you are and what to do. It's the best feeling in the world.

Remember my friend, you're doing better than you think, keep it up!

Full Transcript

have you ever felt confused not sure about what's next for you in life not sure about where you want to go overall not sure about who you want to show up as if you're feeling confused right now this video is for you because we're going to talk about how to solve for that Clarity issue in your life and also how to make those changes that you need right now so before jumping into the steps we've got to understand the confusion that we're in right now if you're feeling confused you gotta understand that the root of your confusion the cause of this this confusion and lack of clarity in your life is actually an incongruence right now there's a there's a gap between who you're living your life as right now and who your highest self is there's someone you know up here that you could be that you want to be that you aspire to be but right now you're not living as that person which is incongruent mental activity that causes confusion which then ultimately leads to pain pain is the symptom of a incongruence lifestyle and many people choose to medicate that pain self-medicate with distractions with projects with relationships and all sorts of different Avenues to to try to distract from the incongruence but it never really solves the root issue now solving the root issue of of confusion and lack of clarity is tough you know living incongruent is is what a lot of people have lived their day-to-day lives for for many years and so it's kind of normal it's the the the pain of the the lack of clarity is a familiar pain so they want to stick with it however ever if we want to solve for this confusion and we want to generate Clarity in our lives we need to engage with a different kind of pain and that is the pain of change the pain of discipline the pain of living the life we know we're capable of living fulfilling our potential that's tough I know but this is the step that must be taken so you have a decision you can continue to live with the pain of lack of clarity or you can continue or you can choose to to step into the pain of change and you're like Joey okay I'm ready to make that change but how do I do that there's so so much we could talk about with this we could spend hours talking about how to change your life effectively we could have months and months of coaching if you wanted to to get through the the nitty-gritty of this but I'm going to tell you everything you need to know right here in this video to begin making this change it's two questions you need to answer so bust out a journal bust out a dock on your computer answer the first question ready what would you move towards in your life what do you want to do just for the fun the excitement and the awesomeness of it what are those things in your life that you would do even if it didn't lead to anything significant you would do just for doing it it's exciting to you it's engaging it's it's that those projects or that career or that that Venture that you're like man that would just be awesome to do I just I don't know why no one told me it would be awesome I just want to do it what are those things you know you've often heard the phrase you know um what would you do if you could not fail think about it instead in a way of like what would you do if you knew you would fail what would you do if you knew this Venture this project was not going to work out but you would still do it because it's so exciting the process the creation the the creativity the the work the relationships you would build would be meaningful and exciting in and of themselves make a list of those things that's the first question the second question is what is your highest level of contribution what way do you want to serve the world and serve people that's deeply embedded in your heart what's an example of this if you have always wanted to have a certain career or to start a certain business or to have a certain job but you've never really moved forward move towards that with a high level of excitement and expectancy and work ethic this is what you write down on this list that job that career that Venture that art that great change you want to serve the world with is what you write down here you see there's so many people out there who are helping and contributing to the world in a way that is Meaningful and is nice and as helpful to people and it makes a difference but they don't really feel connected to it on a deep level what's that contribution that you want to make that you know you need to make that really would create extreme fulfillment for you even though it's hard and yes it will be hard contribution is always difficult it always causes roadblocks and and and pain and investment of time and energy but what's that contribution that you know you need to make more than anything else that would really tug your Heartstrings maybe you've tried it before maybe you've never even touched it but you've always wanted to get into that way of contributing to people and making change in the world whatever it is write it down now you've got those two things I'm going to leave you with this with this final call to action this is how we actually make this change to solve for the incongruence know that Clarity comes through motion Clarity is enacted through motion so those two questions you just answered those things in those lists that's where we're going and you know what we are going there we're not planning anymore we're not going to sit back and just think aspirationally about how that'd be nice if I did this or if I help these people or if I got started with that no no Clarity the clarity that you're seeking the clarity that you want is going to come through you moving forward intentionally towards those things and the clarity will not be there on day one it might not even be there in Year One but it will come one day as you move forward as you perfect as you overcome as you engage as you learn as you grow you're going to have Clarity in your life because you're in motion so that is the key to solving the incongruence and the pain of the confusion right now is to move forward towards those things and start grasping at them and start struggling and start having those fulfilling moments of contribution and just get into it just just make it happen if you can continue to do that long enough the confusion will fade the clarity will reveal itself and you'll be so grateful that you started this process